Later, on the day we accepted our referral, our daughter's face was reavealed to us. This time, the photo was brighter & we could see her toes! I remember being so excited that she had toes & that there appeared to be 10!In my opinion, every adoption is a leap of faith. International adoption especially, because we just do not get much information...no medical background, very limited if any history of the child, etc. We just don't have much to go on...do we? Except faith. Faith that we are united with a special child for a reason. Faith that this was "meant" to be. A higher power other than our adoption agency has guided us & led us.
Special Needs used to be a scary term to me. Now that I am a parent of a "special needs child", it's not so scary anymore. When we checked off our list of "acceptable things" on our homestudy, I gave it little thought I am embarrassed to say. I checked 'no' to just about everything. I think a lot of PAPs do. However, when I got "that" e-mail..."that" e-mail about a special little girl available for adoption..."that" e-mail about a 3 month old with 'special medical needs', my heart jumped. A little voice said "ask more questions...get more information" & we did. We had little to go on. A dark picture with a blacked out little face & wrapped up little feet. I want to tell you that sometimes the terminology of a defect or medical condition gets lost in translation. This was the case for us. The information stated malformation of both feet; innate chipped feet. Well, we couldn't see her feet & the doctors that we spoke to (4 total) said that there was no such term for any known medical defect, genetic or otherwise, pertaining to feet.
So, we had to look at the best case scenerio & the worse case scenerio & make a decision. I am a stay-at-home mom with two children in school...we decided what our threshold would be & it was greater that the worse case scenerio that the doctors presented to us, so we went for it & accepted her referral...feet unseen. And you know what? I wasn't even worried. I knew she was our daughter....she was not her feet. Strange, because I am OCD to the limit people! 2 weeks after we accepted her referral, the orphanage staff took the photos of her little feet that we had requested & we found out she had mild to moderate classic club feet. We were excited & off I went to study about it. The rest is history. From the unknown & faith to a trip across the ocean to bring home our special girl! SN Adoption is not for everyone. I just wish that everyone knew of the wide range of SN that there are. Some are very minor & require minimal surgery or physical therapy. Some are major & would require one's full & devoted attention. I can only encourage you... If "an" e-mail comes to you, ask lots of questions before you dismiss it. You may be missing out on your miracle. I am trying to find it in myself to look for a way to help promote SN Adoption. So, pray for me because I am not normally a very outspoken person :) This is a start I guess....
3 comments:
Special needs, and older child adoption has been on my heart to promote too!!! We still have some things ahead of us with Layne Nhi, but if I could come up with the money again we want to adopt a special needs and older child again! We are both blessed thanks for sharing your story!
As a teacher of children with special needs all I can say is, "Hooray," the worl needs more people like you (and Jill.)
Good for you to be that voice. Caleigh is a beautiful little girl and I know she is bringing your family much joy. We need more people like you to be that voice for the kids.
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